I read this line somewhere- 'One can grow in a relationship if it is free from jealousy and insecurity.' We all know that true love is unconditional. There is no place for jealousy or insecurity if it is true love. It holds more relevance for relationships of a lifetime, like marriage, where the commitment index is high.
But I know a friend who has given up on a superb corporate career because of her husband (I think he has a jealous streak). She says she has 'compromised' with life. She has put her dream in a box and has thrown the key away, only to live a 'happily ever after' life. There is this another friend who has stopped talking to almost all his female friends because of his insecure wife.
One of the worst things that one can do as a spouse is to restrict them from doing what brings them joy and also impose conditions on them, because of your own insecurities and jealousies. All this in the name of protecting your marriage/relationship/love/home.
A partner should never ever stop you from doing what you want to. I know people who badly want to do many things, but they don't do it, because their spouses don't like it or they don't share that interest. They live their lives exactly the way their spouses want. They give up things, sometimes even people that mean a lot to them, thinking that this will make their marriage a happy one!
After some time they become a shadow of what they used to be and they are not even sure of their needs any longer. They define themselves as somebody's mother, somebody's husband, somebody's wife etc. Agreed, all these roles are important. But beneath that relationship is an interesting person who used to be so much fun, an interesting person who was full of life. That fun person starts fading away. They exist in their 'happy', weary marriage, adjusting, compromising, pleasing parents, society and everyone else but themselves, just refusing to change.
My opinion on marriage and its implications on an individual's freedom are not sacrosanct. But as I enter the fourth year of a blissful married life, I want to share something that I read few days back:
Don't forget that you and your spouse are individuals first. Don't be so self-involved as to believe that you are the whole world for the other person. Nobody is that interesting. Don't get jealous and possessive if s/he wants to spend time by himself/herself or with people other than you. Marriage is a big event in your life, all right, but it isn't your life. Taking time off from stuff to adjust and adapt and all that is fine. But get back to your life at the end of it. Don't change your priorities overnight and so easily.
A truly successful marriage is one which gives you the freedom to do what you want, where you know that no matter what you do or where you go, home is where the heart is and heart is where your love is! It is that bond where you accept your partner's mistake, knowing that every human is bound to make mistakes and where love is supreme. I know, all you practical people will be saying it exists only in romantic novels. But trust me, I have seen ups and downs of a married life. I know!
© Written by Garima Mahajan
But I know a friend who has given up on a superb corporate career because of her husband (I think he has a jealous streak). She says she has 'compromised' with life. She has put her dream in a box and has thrown the key away, only to live a 'happily ever after' life. There is this another friend who has stopped talking to almost all his female friends because of his insecure wife.
One of the worst things that one can do as a spouse is to restrict them from doing what brings them joy and also impose conditions on them, because of your own insecurities and jealousies. All this in the name of protecting your marriage/relationship/love/home.
A partner should never ever stop you from doing what you want to. I know people who badly want to do many things, but they don't do it, because their spouses don't like it or they don't share that interest. They live their lives exactly the way their spouses want. They give up things, sometimes even people that mean a lot to them, thinking that this will make their marriage a happy one!
After some time they become a shadow of what they used to be and they are not even sure of their needs any longer. They define themselves as somebody's mother, somebody's husband, somebody's wife etc. Agreed, all these roles are important. But beneath that relationship is an interesting person who used to be so much fun, an interesting person who was full of life. That fun person starts fading away. They exist in their 'happy', weary marriage, adjusting, compromising, pleasing parents, society and everyone else but themselves, just refusing to change.
My opinion on marriage and its implications on an individual's freedom are not sacrosanct. But as I enter the fourth year of a blissful married life, I want to share something that I read few days back:
A truly successful marriage is one which gives you the freedom to do what you want, where you know that no matter what you do or where you go, home is where the heart is and heart is where your love is! It is that bond where you accept your partner's mistake, knowing that every human is bound to make mistakes and where love is supreme. I know, all you practical people will be saying it exists only in romantic novels. But trust me, I have seen ups and downs of a married life. I know!
© Written by Garima Mahajan
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