Letters to my daughter. Part 2

Dearest Ridhiema

You are one of the most beautiful gifts I have ever received. You are also one of my best learning experiences. From you, I have learnt that no matter how tough the situation is, true love is always unconditional. I am sharing some more experiences with you. And like before, this time also, you are not entitled to pick everything. I shall respect your choice, if you disagree with me.

1. Positivity helps

This world is mainly a beautiful place. But sometimes a few things make it harsh. God made his temple from love. Man made his temple from love.  Man made his temple from love. 

No matter what happens, don’t let negative people or thoughts take hold of you. The choice between being an optimist or a pessimist will remain right there in front of you. Choose with your heart but choose wisely!

2. Gender is only a thought

In this world, there are men and there are women. They are made up differently. And this is where the difference ends. Really. There is no difference beyond this. But when you will step out of the house, you will see that there is an ugly thing called 'discrimination on the basis of gender'. This means that men and women are supposed to live and act differently. You will see many instances that will disgust you the way women and men are treated differently. But beta, never buy that. These are made by age old philosophies that did not hold any merit at that time, nor at this time. See this, confront it, face it. But never accept it and make it your choice.

3. Grieve if you must

Beta, grief is a real thing. It is as real as life. You will face sadness and you will face happiness. Just the way, it is important to smile, it is equally important to grieve. Don't try to run away from grief. Grief is very private. It is your closest way of learning lessons life imparts you. It is okay to be sad. The world will ask you to hasten your grief and move on, because it likes happy, smiling faces. But you take your time. Take deep breaths and small steps while coming out of grief. Live the grief part, only then would you learn the lesson God was trying to teach you about life. It will help you go a long way. 

4. Trust the broken souls

We are all broken in parts. Some are broken apart, some in parts, some are healing and some have marks. But I have always believed that 'there is a crack in everything. That is how light passes through'. Trust people who show their broken parts. They are the ones who have the courage to show their imperfections and sadness. Perfection and complete happiness is only for social media, for facebooks and instagrams. Real people have real issues. Have empathy with people who are going through tough time. In personal relationships, it is all about dealing with the flawed parts. 

5. Do not get carried away

Beta, this one I speak from a lot of experience. Always build boundaries. Always. By building boundaries, you will create a surrounding to protect yourself, so that people will not take you for a ride. Set your standards, build your boundary and behave that way. I have seen in life that you will get what you continue to let be. 

You will always be very important to me. You have a piece of my heart and I want you to handle yourself with care. 

© Written by Garima Mahajan

Letters to my daughter

Dearest Ridhiema

I am writing these letters to you. You will read these when you will be a little older, little wiser to understand. These are my experiences that I want you to learn. But I leave it your judgement to agree or disagree. Beta, these letters are in public domain. I hope you won't mind that. 

1. Come out clean

This is a fact of life. We all mess up. All of us. Always. There is some mud clinging that we all have gone through at least once in our lives. But how you live your life post that will make you the person you might love or hate. It is this journey that will build your character. No matter what you have done and what you are, the moment you know it, just get up and do the clean up act. By clean up,, I mean telling the truth to yourself, why are you here and what brought you here. And finally, owing up and taking the first step out of it. Beta you might feel lost. You might feel you do not know where to go. But trust me, you take the first step and God will show you the second and third and fourth step. You will come out of it. You just need to take that first step. 

People will laugh at you in this process. Do not blame them. Do not even stop them. Do whatever it takes- to get up  and come out clean from that mess. If it involves more money- earn it, acquire a new talent- learn it. Just do whatever it takes and do not get stuck. Getting stuck might make you a bitter person. You might fall in the process. But every time you fall, stand up and come clean, This is how we find new happiness, better life and fulfilled dreams. Beta, at the end of it, it will be worth the hard work. 

2. Notice people's behaviour

Some times people change. Friends, lovers, colleagues, relatives. They do. Without any reason, they just do. Keep a tab on their behaviour. Nobody should mistreat you. Fights are okay in a relationship. Be honest and critical in your relationship but do not let anyone abuse you in any way- emotionally, mentally, physically. In case anyone does that, either they do not love you or are disgusting. Leave them in both the cases. You are too precious to be treated badly. 

3. Being broke is no fun

By the time you reach your late twenties or early thirties, and you still are broke financially, emotionally or mentally, there is something seriously wrong. If you can not get the basic amenities for yourself and/ or emotionally turbulent most of the times, it is not cool. It shows the unstability of your life. Go back then, learn the basics. You must learn to take care of yourself, financially and emotionally.  

3. Either people want you or do not want you 

I learnt it the hard way, after a lot of falls. This is the simplest fact of any relationship. People want you or not. You are worth a lot of love. And if anyone refuses, leave the person with your head high. Period.

4. Read. A lot

Beta the past is always written in words. When you read, you learn. And when you learn, you grow. If you do not want to read books, use internet. But read something every day. When you will read, you will learn that you are never alone who is going through a particular situation.

5. Life shows up. Stay positive

This is the beauty of life. If you stay positive, life will show up. You stay strong and life will treat you with the right thing at the right time. If anything is troubling you, take note, get up and work it out. People will guide you. Some will misguide you. Use your judgement and remember, you will have to do the work. Do it beta. Face it. Life will positively reward you. The world is all yours. 

This is for now. I will write to you again when I will have more stories, more conversations, more experiences and more perspective.

© Written by Garima Mahajan